Ok, so let me tell you a couple things I saw and then we can talk about 'um ok?
#1 Coworker with the busted feet: Ok so one of my coworkers (in another dept) came into my office with sandals on and toenails that looked like a rat had been sharpening its front teeth on them. The red polish was chipped and the nails were long and ragged. I had looked down at this woman's feet because she is usually well put-together. But I took one look down, and I had to quickly look away, before I started to stare in aghastment.* I was truly startled.
#2 Woman walking into walmart with low-riding, booty cutter shorts on--and her phone sticking up outta the crotch area: Yes, it's true. I saw this. Her shorts couldn't have been longer than boy-shorts underwear and the "waistline" was barely above her pubic line. That wasn't the problem. I tried not to stare, but I couldn't help... I was trying to figure out why ANYBODY would stick a phone in the crotch of her shorts (ewwww!)... and then I got it. **rolling eyes** ... that was the whole POINT!
Ok, so let's talk.
#1-- Ladies, it's that time again. Now, there are some of us who slack off on the beauty details during the winter, and that's cool. I, too, tend to shave a little less obsessively and I let my polish etc get a little older than I should during the winter months. And that's ok because in the wintertime, most of us wear pants or tights, and closed in shoes anyway, and no one is the wiser.
BUT
The moment the weather breaks and you want to wear that cute skirt or dress, or let those toes peep thru (or even show off that whole foot in a sandal)... you must, and I mean you MUST(!!) do your first work FIRST! The easiest thing to do to start off is to make sure that your feet are well moisturized. Nothing looks worse than a crusty foot in a cute shoe. Personally, I like Palmer's Cocoa Butter. Not the lotion. The butter :
This stuff is the real deal. It's solid in the jar and softens when you rub it between your hands. Yes, this is the true crusty-foot fighter. I don't care what any of those "beauty brands" try to sell you. If you need something heavy (like me, I'm a Super Crusty Foot Fighter) this is it. It's like a pedicure in a jar. Slather this stuff on after a shower or at night, and then put on some socks... if you put it on at night, you'll only need to lotion in the morning. Otherwise, you're set all day.**
Now for those of us who have been getting by with just "touching up" our toe polish on the first two toes (cause all you been wearing all winter is peep-toe and closed in--Don't hide, I see you)... it's time to either call your manicurist/pedicurist and get an appointment, or at least... at the VERY least... buy some dang toenail clippers, a nail file, and some sheer polish. You can never go wrong with "neat and sparkly"!!
Sally Hansen's Diamond Strength is my favorite for times like this. It's sheer and adds a very classy sparkle/shine to the nail. It's perfect for those times when you haven't had a chance to get that pedi and the shoe you want to wear is gonna show them dawgs... Quick removal of old polish, and a dash of this stuff, and you'll be ready to go in about 20 min.
It just puts a great glow on you, wherever you apply it*** and it won't rub onto your clothing.
Ok, so those are my foot tips, and here's one more: I have a good friend who says this (yes, in public, and yes, out loud to anyone who is listening): "If you gon' show um, fix um. If you cain't fix um, hide um." AMEN.
#2 -- Now, one of the things that some of us (and it's not just limited to the slender ladies, either) tend to do is to wanna show some skin the moment the weather breaks. Now, I understand that. After such a long and harsh winter, we Virginians are ready to get back to that great beach weather our state is known for. We want to feel the sun on our skin. It's a great feeling... I totally understand. But let's be rational here. You gotta keep your "inner ho" on a leash. I mean really. She's cool and all, but do you really want the entire world (or at least all of Walmart) staring at your crotch??
So I will just say this, especially for us big girls :) Get an HONEST mirror. You gotta have one that doesn't make you look smaller than you are.**** AND you have to keep in mind that er'thang won't made to be worn on er'body. It sucks, but I can't wear those cute strappy/strappless dresses and tops. I can't wear ANYTHING that shows the middle of my stomach. Why?? Because I've had a baby and because of GRAVITY... It's a reality. There's just some stuff we shouldn't put on even tho we can. Just go for what looks AWESOME on you, and yes, you should prolly ask a real friend. And don't be mad when she says to you... "uhhh that would look real cute if it was two sizes larger..." Know your limitations!! *****
So I'm hoping that the next time I see this lady in my office, she has her dawgs together. Maybe if I compliment her shoes, she'll realize that what's inside and poking out of the shoe matters, as well.. And as for summer attire...I'm not sure there's a way to fix the "Hey I need attention (and your omg-startled stares)" look... #justsayn
Seriously ma'am.. there’s a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos.
*I know that's not a word, but there's nothing else to describe the open-mouthed, wide-eyed, finger-pointing stare that says, "WITW is wrong with your TOES??"
** The socks are important. Trying to walk in greasy shoes is THE WORST! Especially if you wear super-high heels. It's a toe or ankle tragedy waiting to happen.
*** Just remember to follow the directions and wash your hands after you apply it. It took me awhile to figure out why my palms were turning dark... (**embarrassed**)
****trust me, I have one of these in my room and it lies to me DAILY... No worries, the bathroom mirror QUICKLY brings me back to reality! ugh! #zumba
***** Oh and bend over in front of the mirror. If you see ANY of your butt crack, PICK ANOTHER PAIR OF PANTS!!!
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