Things I hate (ok dislike a WHOLE lot)

So, I'm sitting here thinking, "What in the world will I blog about today??" and then I happened to be on Facebook, where my sister posts that she hates taking out braids, which I could SO commiserate with. And then it dawned on me. I hate lots of stuff, and I think I want to gripe about it right now, since it's a slow day here at the office.

First, let's agree that this is not an all-inclusive list. There are lots of things (and even people) that I dislike. However, these are just the things that I am probably most noted for. People who know me will read this, shake their heads and think, "yup, she hates that..."

Ok, so jumping right in?? I hate laundry and cleaning. I do it because (and when) I have to. I have my own way of organizing things, and most of the time, that includes being able to see stuff from where ever I happen to be sitting. It's not just a mess. It's organized chaos. Ok? When it's time for me to find them, I know exactly where my gold, platform Steve Madden's are... I don't have to look through a million shoe boxes or dig through the closet. They are right there, in front of the dresser, (maybe) under those pair of black pants. See? It works for me. Most people don't understand it, but it works--it really does. Now as for laundry--don't go thinkin' that I'm walking around in stinky clothes. I'm NOT. I have no problem washing and drying clothes. It's the bit about folding them up and putting them away. There should be a machine for that. I mean, my arms get tired... and I inevitably run out of hangers and drawer space. I know I waste a lot of time in the morning looking for "the blue exercise top" or two matching socks, but eventually I find them... eventually. And that's what matters, right?

Secondly, I hate doing hair. I used to enjoy it. As a matter of fact, for a few summers in high school and during my freshman year in college, that was my side gig. I did hair. And then I had a daughter. Before I saw her face, I saw her hair. Jet black. And LOTS of it. Once I came out of my labor-induced coma, I thought that she and I would have a great time doing hair--the little bows, barrettes, ribbons... I was so excited; I had my own little doll whose hair I could play with as much as I wanted. That was, UNTIL the wavy, curly, cutesy stuff was replaced by "the real deal," which began to grow, and grow, and grow until at 4 months she had more hair than me.* By that time, hair had become a chore. This child's hair is as thick as 3 peoples' and she has the nerve to have eczema in her scalp AND to be tenderheaded. No relaxers allowed! So we've fought through braids of all kinds since she was about a year and a half. And there's ALWAYS the take-out, wash, re-braid process that I LOATHE... it's a two day thing, which used to involve much crying and complaining (on both our parts)... Now that she's older, we're better at the process but I still HATE IT.**

I also hate early mornings. I am a night owl by nature. Does anyone remember when the channels used to "sign off??" You know, when the jets would fly across the screen and those perfect male voices would strike up their rendition of the Star Spangled Banner? In the summertime, that was how I knew it was time for bed. Now that there's cable/satellite (and all the good stuff comes on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim at 11), I hardly ever go to bed on-time. So yeah I could easily stay up until 2 in the morning watching Squidbillies or Robot Chicken*** but then there's that 6 am alarm I have to deal with. It drives me bananas. It startles the crap outta me every morning. I have to set it for 5:40am or so, so that I can mentally count down how much time I have until I absolutely HAFTA get up. I have to hit "snooze" at least three times; I can never just hear the alarm, shut it off, and then jump outta bed. NEVER.

Early-morning waking is a long, arduous process that must be carefully handled. If I get irritated while I'm trying to wake up, it could cause me to be a grouch ALL DAY. So most people know that all they will likely get from me before 10 am are grunts of "good morning" "uh huh" "yeah" and "mm hmm" ... I will never understand my daughter--the complete opposite, who wakes up smiling and talking endlessly. She actually asked me to wake her up with tickles when she was younger. Ha! Not me, not on your life...Tickle me outta my sleep if you wanna. My only suggestion is that you first know how to nurse a black eye...

Fruit. I also dislike fruit. Not because it doesn't taste good...but because it doesn't ALWAYS taste good. I hate when I'd buy a container of  gorgeous, red strawberries, a nice, plump watermelon, or a well-thumped canteloupe, only to take that first bite and discover a taste similar to kool-aid without the sugar. Blah, bland, yuck! gross!! I mean, it's a gamble--you can never tell when you're going to bite in to the strawberry-est strawberry or if that bite is going to send you straight to the trash can. I know fruit is good for you. But I never buy it, and now I've gotten so used to not eating it, that I don't think I like it anymore*. Maybe I'll give it another try. But only after someone else has tried it first and knows that it tastes the way it's supposed to.

There are other, more-serious things that I dislike, that over time you'll probably read about: bad service, disloyal people, passive-aggressive people, poor drivers**, all things ghetto, fake church people***, black movies... Shucks, I could start in on any of those right now. Especially my dislike for "modern" black movies (they're all the same) and fake church people (ugh!! -rolling my eyes-), but I'll save that for another day when I'm bored and just a "touch" gripey.

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria Steinem ~


*No lie!! I'd post the pic, but Loo would KILL me...
**and it STILL takes 2 days
***don't judge me. Every one has their vice. Mine is stupid, mindless cartoonage and movies.
* I just caught myself making an "eeewww gross.." lip scrunch :/
** Imma card carryin road-rager. I inherited it. ahem!
*** Or "Christians" as Ms. G. calls 'um

"They" Made Me Do It...

Hopefully you will understand. I think blogs are cool, but I always figured you had to have a "reason" to blog. Then I started following the blog of someone else and really enjoyed reading about the very interesting stuff that happens to her... Not long after, people started asking ME if I had a blog. Me? Of course not. I am not NEARLY as interesting as other bloggers. In fact, rarely anything "noteworthy" ever happens in my life.

Despite my initial thoughts, I decided to "look into" setting up a blog... Seemed easy enough. Then I found THIS background..OMG.. "This must be for me!!!" I love rain, rainy days, thunderstorms, the smell of rain... **sigh** ... It's the best. Ok, so SOMETHING about me, must go on a page that so befits me. Maybe I'm onto something. We'll see.

One thing I hate about setting up stuff like this is filling out the Profile Page. Ugh! I hate them. But I understand that it's there so that you can know more about me before reading what I've written... But how in the WORLD would anyone expect me to EXPLAIN ME in 1200 characters or less??? If you know anything about me, you know that I am not that easily explained.. not to me, and certainly not to anyone else! Then there are the details about my life, what I read (horror: Dean Koontz, Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child, Stephen King), what I like to eat (everything, especially CHOCOLATE!, but no shellfish pls!), movies I've watched (not many), and my favorite quotes (most anything said by The Rock, Homer, Stewie, or Early Cuyler).

Of course there's the family... I'm a Mommie.* My daughter, whom I will likely refer to as Loo, Loolie, Loola or any variation on that theme, in this blog. She's not yet 10, but sit and talk with her and you'll swear sometimes she's 20. Every birthday that rolls around, I think to myself  "I kept another living being alive for [xx] years"... Before she came along, I'd only been entrusted with plants, and well, let's just say I don't have a green thumb. So it amazes me that for nearly 10 years, I haven't lost her, forgotten to feed/water her, or left her somewhere.

There are my parents, who, of the three kids, love me the most.** Mommie gave me a love for music, singing, and the arts; expensive tastes; a fanatical love for shoes and shopping; and a need to be perfect (and right) all the time, which I usually am... My Daddy gave me his love for most things culinary (i.e. FOOD), his quick wit, his temper, and his ability to love deeply, and his tendency to procrastinate... The result was me: a dancing, singing, cooking, eats-too-much, joke-your-pants-off, mean-sometimes girl, who loves shoes and who waits til the last minute to try and get things exactly right.

I'm the oldest (and smartest)*** of three kids. I have two brothers... one lives locally... he's like Mr. Everything. Photographer, Computer Tech, Graphic Designer, Sound Guru, Musician, African Dancer... well maybe not the last one, but he does, like, "tirt-teen tings mon!" He baffles me. He decides to do something (e.g. play the bass) and instantly becomes great at it. I'm still trying to figure out how he does it. My baby brother lives in L.A. and is living his dream--he's a drummer, music writer and producer and he's freakn awesome at what he does. I think it's cool, I've seen him on TV, now, twice--Once on Dancing with the Stars and once on The George Lopez show.**** Both of my brothers  are married to women I think are super cool; they both love shopping, shoes, make-up, food, and laughter as much as I do. There are kids in all of this too, and I love 'um... but dang, you can learn about them on their blogs. 


As for what I do, I have a job. It's kinda complicated to describe, but let's just say that I manage a division of a consulting firm that helps foreign companies comply with FDA Regulations before they can ship drug products to the U.S. It's an interesting job. The women I work with are all highly intelligent, highly experienced, and a LOAD of laughs. Some days, I'm sure the rest of the office is jealous because none of them have the dynamic we do.

I've been married twice and divorced twice, and I've learned a lot over the course of both of those marriages (and divorces). I have have reached a point in my life where I am comfortable with myself and truly, truly happy. I have learned the importance of "me" in all of this. Total Selflessness is no good for anybody. Sometimes YOU have to look out for YOU...because in the final analysis that's your job and no one else's. It's like they tell you when they give you those instructions just before takeoff. "In case of pressure loss inside the cabin, masks will drop down. Place yours on first and then provide help to someone else if needed." So I am learning to take care of me first, so that I can be what I need to be to others. It's not easy when you're used to self-sacrificing. But it's a habit that must be broken. Selfishness is good in moderation...

I think I stayed within the 1200 character limit. I think.

"Happiness always comes with a price, but accepts all major credit cards."


*Yes, that's how we spell it in our family. There's a difference.
**It's my blog, and I can say what I want.
***Again, my blog. But note, while I'm indeed the smartest, I'm not by far the most talented-est
****Yes I showed the online videos to my office mates!