WOW it's been a long time since I've blogged. I really have to start doing this more... I was going to post this on Facebook, but thought I could just blog it and share it, because... well because what I found was cool, and because it could potentially be helpful, too.
You know, quite often we hear/see people make statements about eagles, in terms of our destiny (I'm meant to soar!) or who we hang around (Eagles don't fly with pigeons!), etc., and in responding to a "who eagles don't hang around" post on Facebook today, My instinct was to respond, "They fly solo," and as I was typing my response, I thought... let me just verify that. You see, I was going off the fact that every time I've ever seen an eagle, it's been a spectacular sight, but there was always just ONE. So I asked Google. And while it's true that eagles do indeed fly alone, I discovered other qualities of eagles that I didn't know, but which are useful when contemplating life and our comparisons of ourselves to these majestic birds.
So here's what I learned from what I "discovered" about eagles (which might just work awesomely for humans, too):
Eagles fly alone at high altitudes and they don't fly in a flock.
Now, don't get me wrong... This doesn't meant that those of us with high aspirations and high expectations of ourselves are in a position to look down on others or isolate ourselves as if we're better. No way. This just helps me understand that a lot of high achievers fly alone. This means we don't travel the usual path, we don't do the usual stuff, and we don't find ourselves surrounded by a lot of "friends." We may be surrounded by a lot of people or things, but we generally are alone a lot, because we need time to think and time to plan. Trying out new ideas and pursuance of our dreams takes up a lot of our time. Our need to day dream, troubleshoot, and think things through can often isolate us, even when we're in a crowd of people. Our brains never stop planning, and they never stop idea-ing. A lot of us might even want to have a large circle of friends, but it's just too hard to maintain that AND nurture what's being constantly hatched in our brains.
Eagles have strong vision and can focus from very high in the air -- when an eagle sees its prey, it narrows its vision and doesn't relent until its prey is in its grasp.
What more needs to be said? LOL! Eagles are clearly high-level thinkers with the ability to see, plan, attack, and obtain. The key here is to not just be a high-level visionary -- there are lots of those-- but when you see that your goal is within your reach, you must be willing to focus and tenaciously go after that which you seek. What does it take for this bird to see a rodent from 2 miles in the air, decide "that is what I want" and then swoop down to ground level to get it? The instinct for the eagle is to see what it desires and to do what's necessary to get it.
Eagles don't consume dead things; they only go after living prey.
We must always, ALWAYS be in a state of observing, learning, and integrating new things. If you rely on "the old way" or "the way things used to be," you'll die. You must know that high thinkers and high achievers are always taking in new information and looking for new, more efficient ways to complete a task. Pursuing "how things were" anchors you to a dead past -- you'll never see "how things can be." You must go after living prey-- pursue the new. Read (peer-reviewed) articles, take a class, get certified, get another degree, travel, meet people who have done things in your area of interest or expertise that you haven't yet done... Always pursue living ideas and concepts. Continue to GROW.
Eagles are able to see sideways AND forward at the same time.
Now, this is the one that blew my mind. Peripheral vision is cool and all, but what if you could see as far sideways as your ears without turning your head?! As I thought about this and continued to read, it became clear. We can't be SO focused on destiny that we are unable to see the dangers and downfalls that may come at us from what others may perceive as our "blind spot"... If you could see that far to the side in real life you'd likely never be "blind sided" right?? "Eagles," though forward-focused on the approach and attack, never lose sight of things that may come along to distract or destroy them. We must remain aware of the environments and people around us; we must know where they fit in our lives (good/bad, friend/foe) and the impact they could possibly have on our progress and our ultimate destiny. KNOW YOUR SURROUNDINGS... You won't fly with pigeons, but there are other birds and other predators out there. Be aware of what's around you, even while you're focused on what's ahead.
Eagles actually use the pressure coming off of storms, hills and mountains to soar. This gives the eagle's wings a chance to rest during long journeys.
Don't you hate that every time you hear about leadership and achievement you hear people talk about how they welcome challenges and failures?? gawsh!! Well if you want to liken yourself to an eagle, then you have to welcome these so-called obstacles and use them to your advantage. Eagles use the updrafts from storms, hills, and mountains to reach long-distance destinations. These "obstacles" actually HELP the eagle, because it doesn't have to flap its wings as much to get where it's going. The eagle uses the winds to soar -- and rest (!) in the midst of a long journey. Can you imagine embracing a storm or mountain in your life's adventure as a time to spread your wings and soar?? Eagles have figured out that obstacles are a positive (and welcomed) part of the journey, and they use them to their advantage.
So there. My lesson shared with you. G'one and soar, eagle!
“The eyesight for an eagle is what thought is to a man.”
― Dejan Stojanovic, The Creator
While I was in Los Angeles last week, I had the opportunity to experience a bunch of new things, different people and amazing sights. There's so much to see and do in just one city, that it's quickly overwhelming. The parks, the restaurants, the shopping, the traffic, the sights, the entertainment---all add up to one astonishing place to visit. Add to that the fact that I have family there that I simply ADORE, and the result is a place that has easily and permanently become a fave.
During our departure from Universal Studios Hollywood one evening, I had the chance to share a life lesson with my daughter. On the way out, there was a man who was break-dancing, entertaining a crowd of people and involving the surrounding kids. He would stand behind them, grab their arms and make it look like they could pop-lock like him. He had a high-top fade (think: Cameo "Word UP" lol), he was funny, and he was REALLY GOOD.
Loo was itching to get out there. She LOVES hip-hop dance; she was tapping her toes and moving her body ever so slightly to the beat. I knew she was just praying for this guy to call on her. And he did. BUT when he headed in her direction, she ran! She totally freaked out... and he moved on to the next kid. I knew she was disappointed, so we stood around a while longer to see if he'd come back and try her again. He did not.
As we were walking out of the park, it dawned on me to teach her a lesson. I said, "Never be too scared to seize an opportunity when it shows up." I explained to her that her opportunity to do something she really wanted to do was right there, staring her in the face--walking toward her, even--and she let it pass by. Her reply was, "But I was scared, Mommie!"
"That's the fun of it!" I told her. Take a risk. Close your eyes and do it anyway. Why? Because when opportunities pass, sometimes--often--they never come back around. And you're left saying, "If I had just done it when I had the chance..." It may be scary, I said, but you have to try. There are lots of things that will come up in your life that you will want to do, but you will be nervous or afraid. Give it some thought, but don't think too long. And definitely NEVER say no just because you were afraid.
So as I was driving to work today, I was talking with a friend about a product that I REALLY liked... and as we talked, a business idea formed. The more we talked, the better the idea sounded. I started to think, "I should DO this. I COULD do this..." My friend agreed. "DO IT," he said, "At least look into it..." I said that I would and we continued to discuss the myriad possibilities that this opportunity posed. But in the middle of our conversation, I got a little scared. I thought to myself, Can I really do this? Could I succeed at this? Will this be another great idea that flops???
And what came to me, in addition to my friend's persistent encouragement, was my conversation with Loo. Here is an opportunity. There's nothing like it in this area. Will fear be the reason I say no? I had to take my own advice, and I did. I took the first step. And when the door opens, I plan to leap. It won't jump off immediately, but there's something brewing. And if the opportunity pans out, it will be BIG.
Since that talk, I have been wondering if this is a defining moment in my life. I know that my daughter will pattern herself after me, and I want to teach her how to speak up, be assertive, and to go after what you want--even if it seems like a long shot. But to do so, I've got to do the same. Furthermore, I have to be able to plant little seeds that will remain with her. At age 35, I still remember the things that my Dad told me about being independent and being a leader. And to this day, I still hear snippets of those talks we had when I was a kid. They have defined who I am and they drive me to try newer, bigger, better things...I can only pray that when Loolie becomes a teen, a college grad, a business woman, a wife and a mom, she will remember our talks, too, and never let one opportunity pass her by.
Ok, so most of us got a good taste of warm weather yesterday, and there's more on the way... Now I'm not one to judge (so you ain't hearrrrd this from me), but we need to have some discussions before the weather gets REALLY warm and some of the travesties I saw yesterday get even WORSE.
Ok, so let me tell you a couple things I saw and then we can talk about 'um ok?
#1 Coworker with the busted feet: Ok so one of my coworkers (in another dept) came into my office with sandals on and toenails that looked like a rat had been sharpening its front teeth on them. The red polish was chipped and the nails were long and ragged. I had looked down at this woman's feet because she is usually well put-together. But I took one look down, and I had to quickly look away, before I started to stare in aghastment.* I was truly startled.
#2 Woman walking into walmart with low-riding, booty cutter shorts on--and her phone sticking up outta the crotch area: Yes, it's true. I saw this. Her shorts couldn't have been longer than boy-shorts underwear and the "waistline" was barely above her pubic line. That wasn't the problem. I tried not to stare, but I couldn't help... I was trying to figure out why ANYBODY would stick a phone in the crotch of her shorts (ewwww!)... and then I got it. **rolling eyes** ... that was the whole POINT!
Ok, so let's talk.
#1-- Ladies, it's that time again. Now, there are some of us who slack off on the beauty details during the winter, and that's cool. I, too, tend to shave a little less obsessively and I let my polish etc get a little older than I should during the winter months. And that's ok because in the wintertime, most of us wear pants or tights, and closed in shoes anyway, and no one is the wiser. BUT
The moment the weather breaks and you want to wear that cute skirt or dress, or let those toes peep thru (or even show off that whole foot in a sandal)... you must, and I mean you MUST(!!) do your first work FIRST! The easiest thing to do to start off is to make sure that your feet are well moisturized. Nothing looks worse than a crusty foot in a cute shoe. Personally, I like Palmer's Cocoa Butter. Not the lotion. The butter :
This stuff is the real deal. It's solid in the jar and softens when you rub it between your hands. Yes, this is the true crusty-foot fighter. I don't care what any of those "beauty brands" try to sell you. If you need something heavy (like me, I'm a Super Crusty Foot Fighter) this is it. It's like a pedicure in a jar. Slather this stuff on after a shower or at night, and then put on some socks... if you put it on at night, you'll only need to lotion in the morning. Otherwise, you're set all day.**
Now for those of us who have been getting by with just "touching up" our toe polish on the first two toes (cause all you been wearing all winter is peep-toe and closed in--Don't hide, I see you)... it's time to either call your manicurist/pedicurist and get an appointment, or at least... at the VERY least... buy some dang toenail clippers, a nail file, and some sheer polish. You can never go wrong with "neat and sparkly"!!
Sally Hansen's Diamond Strength is my favorite for times like this. It's sheer and adds a very classy sparkle/shine to the nail. It's perfect for those times when you haven't had a chance to get that pedi and the shoe you want to wear is gonna show them dawgs... Quick removal of old polish, and a dash of this stuff, and you'll be ready to go in about 20 min.
Finally for those legs...c'mon ladies we know we want 'um to shine and be "purty"... so if you are showin um and haven't gotten much sun, use a bronzer. It adds a very sexy warmth to your skin tone and gives you a "sunned" look, that even looks nice at night. My favorite is Loreal's Sublime Bronze:
It just puts a great glow on you, wherever you apply it*** and it won't rub onto your clothing.
Ok, so those are my foot tips, and here's one more: I have a good friend who says this (yes, in public, and yes, out loud to anyone who is listening): "If you gon' show um, fix um. If you cain't fix um, hide um." AMEN.
#2 -- Now, one of the things that some of us (and it's not just limited to the slender ladies, either) tend to do is to wanna show some skin the moment the weather breaks. Now, I understand that. After such a long and harsh winter, we Virginians are ready to get back to that great beach weather our state is known for. We want to feel the sun on our skin. It's a great feeling... I totally understand. But let's be rational here. You gotta keep your "inner ho" on a leash. I mean really. She's cool and all, but do you really want the entire world (or at least all of Walmart) staring at your crotch??
So I will just say this, especially for us big girls :) Get an HONEST mirror. You gotta have one that doesn't make you look smaller than you are.**** AND you have to keep in mind that er'thang won't made to be worn on er'body. It sucks, but I can't wear those cute strappy/strappless dresses and tops. I can't wear ANYTHING that shows the middle of my stomach. Why?? Because I've had a baby and because of GRAVITY... It's a reality. There's just some stuff we shouldn't put on even tho we can. Just go for what looks AWESOME on you, and yes, you should prolly ask a real friend. And don't be mad when she says to you... "uhhh that would look real cute if it was two sizes larger..." Know your limitations!! *****
So I'm hoping that the next time I see this lady in my office, she has her dawgs together. Maybe if I compliment her shoes, she'll realize that what's inside and poking out of the shoe matters, as well.. And as for summer attire...I'm not sure there's a way to fix the "Hey I need attention (and your omg-startled stares)" look... #justsayn
Seriously ma'am.. there’s a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos.
*I know that's not a word, but there's nothing else to describe the open-mouthed, wide-eyed, finger-pointing stare that says, "WITW is wrong with your TOES??"
** The socks are important. Trying to walk in greasy shoes is THE WORST! Especially if you wear super-high heels. It's a toe or ankle tragedy waiting to happen.
*** Just remember to follow the directions and wash your hands after you apply it. It took me awhile to figure out why my palms were turning dark... (**embarrassed**)
****trust me, I have one of these in my room and it lies to me DAILY... No worries, the bathroom mirror QUICKLY brings me back to reality! ugh! #zumba
***** Oh and bend over in front of the mirror. If you see ANY of your butt crack, PICK ANOTHER PAIR OF PANTS!!!
I know I use that hash-mark statement all the time: #dontjudgeme; I also say it often. There's a reason. People can be pretty harsh when it comes to their opinions of you. For the most part, I don't care what people think. Only a select few folks on this planet get that consideration. Everybody else.. well...too bad.
However, today I was reading a letter posted on "Dear Prudence." The letter writer was an older man, who found his wife to be "Super Hot, but Dumb"... The heart of the issue is that this guy got so excited by "incredible sex" and how gorgeous his wife is--not to mention the fact that he was overwhelmed and surprised that such a woman had given him the time of day--that he married her without ensuring that they were matched on anything other than sex and (her) looks.
Be that as it may, that was his choice. He got excited, thought with the wrong head, and married this girl.
What gets me, though, is that now, a year later, he's unhappy. WHY? Because he thinks his wife is dumb. His proof? She watches reality TV. Really? That's it? Not that she doesn't know the difference between six and half a dozen. Not that she put marshmallows in her pillow hoping to make it softer... but just because she likes reality TV, she's dumb?
Apparently, this guy is some computer brainiac, with deep-seated and profound political view points. He doesn't mention what he watches, but I can only assume that because he has such high intellectual standards, all he watches are PBS, CNN, and Instructional Videos. What a jerk!!
Look, I can hold an "intelligent" conversation with the best of 'um. I can even throw in a few graduate-level words, salient, ascertain, dearth, germane, and yes--exacerbate (those are a few of my fave's). But c'mon! I hafta take a break from that. I gotta be able to laugh at something just because its stupid or allow my imagination to be hijacked for a while, into highly intense situations that can't possibly be real. Ask me what I wanna watch for entertainment, you'd be surprised, maybe even appalled. Mindless, silly, crazy, funny OR intense, action, suspense, blow-um-up... will ALWAYS be my preference over the stuff on Lifetime, TBS, or even the regular TV networks.
Why, you ask? Because I deal with "smart" all day-- web code, drug regulations, legal documents, and smart-aleck clients (and colleagues for that matter)-- by the time I get home, I want to give my brain a REST! So yes, I watch shows that require as little brain function as possible, or shows that take my imagination, stroke it, twist it, and max it out*. I detest sitcoms, especially the ones that come on TBS, and I rarely watch the news... that's for early morning radio listening, ONLY.
The fact that I think Squidbillies is laugh-out-loud hilarious, or that I absolutely crack UP at Nene Leaks, and even the fact that I get lots of great tips from America's Next Top Model, doesn't make me dumb. The shows might be, but that's why it's called entertainment! I think it would be depressing if I lived the challenges of life, business, and work all day long, only to come home and immerse myself in even more of the same drudgery. Instead, I prefer to escape into entertainment that just can't be real. I mean, how does Jack Bauer get out of EVERY situation?? I mean you just. can't. kill the guy!!** So what if I secretly wish to be a contestant on Survivor, and that I have seen every episode of Family Guy ever made (I think)! Those guilty pleasures don't make me dumb. In fact, I think they round me out. They cater to my sense of humor and provide a temporary escape from the trials of the day. Making me a better, laughier, easier to deal with person.
This guy, however, is so insecure that he has to flaunt how smart he is--even to himself! I mean, really. Who wants to be intellectual ALL the time??
Look, what I like to watch doesn't define me. And I am thinking that what this guy's wife watches likely doesn't define her either. He's probably just so "appalled" at her interest in such "mindless filth" that he hasn't even taken time to talk to her about anything beyond her behind, her boobs, or chandelier swinging... Honestly, he said nothing about what HE likes to watch, which makes me wonder... how much time does he spend watching Spike TV or "Skinemax"?? This guy was just too condescending for my tastes... and to think that he called HER dumb... Uh, excuse me sir. You married her!
Personally, I think if the woman knew what he'd written about her, she'd send her own letter to Prudie and point out how DUMB he was for not selecting someone based on long-lasting, meaningful qualities. Or maybe, she'll write in and say, "I may be dumb, but I am smart enough to get HALF on the way out...SUCKA!"
Once it hits the fan, the only rational choice is to sweep it up, package it, and sell it as fertilizer.
* I love Jack Bauer!
** For real, I think he's the last great superhero.
This morning, as I do every morning just before I exit the bed, I checked Facebook (don't judge me). And I saw a post by a woman who was upset that another one of her clients was holding up her money. In that post, and in the background story she had posted a week before, I remembered all of those times that clients, who were "so happy" with my work, had held up my money and made my life miserable. But I haven't experienced that in a while, and I really had to take some time to think about what changed. How did I put an end to the "perpetually pending payment?"
Oh, how I remember my early design days--I was so glad to have the client,so glad to be adding to my portfolio, so glad to have the prospect of more money coming in. I would quickly gather information about the project and set to my best work, wanting to wow my clients and show them that they indeed made the right choice in selecting me as their Web designer. I would work with them to create or edit content, find pictures, and organize the site. And THEN I'd do the graphical and HTML work. When it was all complete, TADA!! The big reveal! The excitement! The pride! The accolades! The client was happy, I was happy... it was smiles all around. Truly, as a creative designer of any type (whether you're a builder, musician, artist, etc.), I think the best moment is when you reveal that final product and the client is overjoyed with what you've done. It's the best moment in the whole ordeal.
And then it was time for payment. As a fledgling designer (and before the invent of paypal) I mainly accepted checks... And though the client was ALWAYS pleased with the final product (no matter how long it took), it rarely motivated them to pay me on time. The check was always being cut "tomorrow, when I get back to the office," or it was (say it with me) "In the mail..." or the client was "so busy last night that I forgot all about it, but I got you..." It could take me weeks or MONTHS to be paid in full for a site. So, I considered a few principles and implemented them in my business dealings, and in doing so, I have made conducting business much easier--and yes, I get PAID when I'm 'spose to...
1- VALUE YOUR TIME.
What does your education, expertise, technology, etc mean to you? What did it cost you to get the knowledge you have? How much did you spend on software and equipment to be able to provide the service you provide? That's the cost of doing the job. You don't make money until you have reimbursed yourself for the client's use of those resources. If the client isn't paying you for your knowledge, skills, and abilities, then you have not made one penny's profit. Your fee should be a reasonable representation of what it will cost YOU to complete the project + a markup.
2- ACT LIKE A BIG DAWG
My niche has always been to provide affordable design to churches, non-profits and small businesses. My selling point is that what a large firm would charge $3,000 to $4000 for, I can provide at a third of the cost. It appeals to organizations and business owners who know that having a site is imperative, but who also know that the very basic site can start in the four-digits--unless you opt for a template design that you have no control over, managed by a company you can never contact (that's a whole 'nother blog..). So I had to sit and think: "What would this potential client be required to do if he/she went to a large design firm?" My cost might be peanuts, comparatively, but my business principles must be just as astute. Do your research-- in my case, I freelanced for a large company. And in doing so, I learned what "they" did. I also learned that the client will do what is required of them IF you require it, and make it "non-negotiable" from the start.
3- DECIDE HOW YOU WILL AND WILL NOT BE PAID
When I started designing Web sites as a hobby back in 1997*, the idea of customized websites was so new, and cutting-edge, even, that I was excited just to have the work. The client was beyond impressed to have a site, and I took whatever money the client and I thought was acceptable. This is probably how most service-based consulting businesses begin: something you like or can do, that eventually turns into something profitable.
In 2004, when my "real job" closed down, I decided that I would design full-time. One of my biggest problems was figuring out how the heck to budget my personal finances based on "The check is in the mail..." Well let me teach you a short lesson here, lovvies: you can't. You'll only be stressed out with bills behind, and ready to fight or go to court. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to "pull a Stewie":
Now, you'll likely get your money. But I should warn you that should you decide to go this route, you'll likely put an end to your business (and your freedom).
Anyway, the whole point of having a business is to generate meaningful income, right? I mean, if you don't mind working for free, that's one thing. But if you want to be able live off of what you do, it's important that you not just think about HOW MUCH you will charge, but how in the world will you ensure that you actually RECEIVE THE MONEY??
Well let's start here: The time to talk money is always upfront. The client is motivated to pay as long as there is a need. Most clients aren't motivated to pay you because you did such a great job... Quite the opposite! They are ready to show off and use their new [whatever you provided]. As a service provider, you must use your time wisely. You know that the client is going to get a great service from you, and in this whole ordeal, it is your responsibility to manage and to take care of the client and you. Once a client deems that your price is acceptable for the service they are requesting (and they're all excited about getting it), get the necessary details to ensure that you can be paid.
For me, it was no longer allowing fees to be paid via check. I moved to a credit card/paypal only system. AND I set my system up so that the payments and the payment schedule are maintained on my end, rather than relying on the client to remember or to come through. Before I will even open Photoshop and insert the first graphic layer, I MUST have a payment agreement and money--all or in part--in my hands. Before I moved to this policy, I agonized over the issue of payments. Again, since I cater to smaller budgets, installments are usually easier to manage than one big lump sum. Large firms want big bucks, and they want it all up front. So allowing clients to break the cost of a project into payments sets me apart and makes everybody happy--at least it should. So I had to go back to the point I made above in section two: what principles do these firms use to ensure that they get their fees?? The answer came as a result of working with that larger firm and seeing that clients will do what is required-- if they want your service and payment is required in full, up front, they will pay it. If a credit card is required to remain on file for all "you-related" charges, they will provide it**. YOU govern how and when you will be paid.
How? You create policies. And don't be afraid to tell a client, "This is how I do business" and even "I may not be able to assist you with this project." Think about it... will they have it easier if they go to another firm? If they use another designer, song-writer, photographer, business consultant, etc., will they have it any easier? Will they get a better product, for a lower price, with great service?? Probably not. I have never had to "not" take a client because of this, but I have had to explain that some aspects of my service are non-negotiable. I don't make apologies and I have yet to lose a client because they didn't want to pay me fairly. I can't stress it enough. Find out what the big boys are doing... and then do it.
4- And lastly (for today at least): ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS*** USE A CONTRACT.
No matter the size of the job or project, get it in writing. If you don't watch Judge Joe, Judge Mathis, Judge Marilyn Milian, or Judge Judy, as a business owner, commit yourself to 2 weeks of watching. You'll get some good laughs from Joe or Mathis, maybe learn some Spanish from Marilyn, and maybe get "highly" peeved with Judy (she can be so MEAN!), but you will also learn some very important lessons about what NOT to do in business.
Not only does using a contract make you look like a professional, it lets the client know that you take your work and their business seriously.
You're doomed if you simply discuss a project with a client, and his agreement to pay you consists of: "I got you." Expecting someone to just pay an invoice when the project is complete doesn't work either. Besides, how will your clients know EXACTLY what they are getting if you don't have a "meeting of the minds" (i.e., a contract)? For example, I once read a post on Facebook that went something like this, "How do you expect to get a top-notch product for little or no money? You can't expect my best work if you're not willing to pay for it..."
Let me say now that I wholeheartedly agreed with the post. **** BUT had this individual sent the person a contract and said, "for $300 this is what you will get," AND "This agreement does not include [whatever services you don't provide at the lower rate]," the client would not have been expecting this Facebooker's $10,000 product for $300. When you work under a contract, not only will the client get what they paid for, but they will know all of the details before hand. In my office, our VP would call it "managing expectations" (he loves to say that during meetings about unruly clients).
Now, if you want to provide your services under a contract, but you don't really know how to come up with a good one, here's what you do: First. Google some templates--that will help you with the legalese and the organization of it all. Second. Sit down and think about every "bad" experience you've had with clients--projects lasting too long, late or non payments, clients who expected more than what was cost-effective to provide, etc. Write them down if you can. Third. Think about what you want your client to know about what you'll be doing--after all, a contract is an agreement of exchange between two parties. You want their money, but what will you give them for it? What's your timeframe for completion? What exactly are you going to do? How will they know when you're finished? How many re-works/revisions will they get? Think your whole process through... And write that down, too.
The end product should be a document that leaves little room for misinterpreting what the client wants/expects, what you will do, and what you expect to receive (and what the client agrees to give you) for doing it. Take that to an attorney or have some spiffy online attorney take a look at it, to be sure all of your legal bases are covered and... VOILA!!
Ok, so go now. Get your pen/paper, laptop, iPad, Xoom, or good ol' desktop 'puter and start brainstorming. Think of ways you can best serve your clients, improve your business, and take care of your financial needs. I promise you, if you put some thought into this (and yes, the contract will likely evolve over time), your client relationships and your business in general will vastly improve. And you won't have to call Johnny No-Nose to handle your light work just so you can get what you've earned.
"If you can’t face it, moon it."
* that's right, I'm old school-- I can make 'um from scratch. No Dreamweaver needed
** Just be sure to demonstrate that you have a policy that will protect their information and keep it private.
*** ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS (no, really, ALWAYS)
**** Maybe some other day, I'll post my gripes about people who always want a "hookup"-- your 110% product for their pennies. They irritate me to NO end. Volunteering works for non-profits, NOT for independent contractors!!! smh
Well not like the kid here (cause he'd be in a coffin today) but my kid has ramped up her "Punch Buggy" game, and, as comedian Kevin Hart would say, "It's. About. Ta Go. Down."
You know the game. Anytime you see a Volkswagen Beetle/Bug (whatever), you punch your neighbor in the arm and yell, "Punch Buggy [color]!! No punch-back!"* You point out the car, and laugh your head off while the victim rubs his or her arm and gives you a dirty look. It's usually a game played between siblings in an effort to liven up a long, boring car ride, but not in my case. My daughter is the current, reigning (self-proclaimed) champion. And she's on a rampage. Any person in any car is fair game--so I'm telling you now, beware.
Here's the problem with Loo. She never stops playing. She is always looking, always searching. She's lightning fast and she punches HARD. Those little fists can create quite a jolt of pain..and it LINGERS. I think she watches every car that goes by, because I don't think she misses one. EVER. What's worse, she cheats. I don't think it's fair that she gets to punch me when we pass the house on the corner--that VW is there everyday--and the one near the school, too--those shouldn't count. But she punches me anyway. And then sometimes, she'll just punch me and yell "Punch Buggy" even when there isn't one. Now if THAT'S not cheating, I don't know what is.
This morning she was spottin' um left and right. She got me 3 times on the way to school, and I mean it hurt. See, when I spot a punch-buggy, I at least consider her arm pain, bruises, etc. You know, I soften the blow a little. But nuh-uh... no more. That kid is leaving marks! So this morning, after the first hit, I decided I would get her back. Whewwwee! I was planning to light her arm UP! I tried to focus on the cars that were coming in the opposite direction, but I couldn't. It's too hard to be on the lookout and drive at the same time. So much so that even while I was searching/driving, she found two more that I didn't even see until they were in my rear view mirror and my arm was on fire.
So for real, I am plotting my revenge. Maybe a VW Beetle sales lot. I'll just drive around, and we'll see who racks up more punches. I've also considered buying one and driving by her school during lunch time so that her friends can "punch buggy" HER for me.. That's right, punch-buggy by proxy. Maybe I'll plot a punch-buggy day. I'll post on craigs-list, asking people who own VW Beetles to drive down my street. I'll pick that day to chill outside with Loo... Ha ha, punch-buggy GALORE!
Look, don't judge me, ok? I'm not a bad mom. It's not like I want to hit her because I'm angry, or because we have some crazy, dysfunctional relationship. This is strategy. It is revenge. It's game playing at its finest. And I have put her on notice. So don't be surprised if you see me, Loo and The Boss** driving down the street, with Loo and me staring intently into oncoming traffic. No talking, just concentrating. Hoping, just hoping that the approaching car with the curved dome is a VW.
It's. About. Ta Go. Down.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
* It is of the utmost importance to note that second statement: "No punch-back!" If you don't yell it quickly enough, your neighbor will return that punch to you. NOT A GOOD THING!
So, I'm sitting here thinking, "What in the world will I blog about today??" and then I happened to be on Facebook, where my sister posts that she hates taking out braids, which I could SO commiserate with. And then it dawned on me. I hate lots of stuff, and I think I want to gripe about it right now, since it's a slow day here at the office.
First, let's agree that this is not an all-inclusive list. There are lots of things (and even people) that I dislike. However, these are just the things that I am probably most noted for. People who know me will read this, shake their heads and think, "yup, she hates that..."
Ok, so jumping right in?? I hate laundry and cleaning. I do it because (and when) I have to. I have my own way of organizing things, and most of the time, that includes being able to see stuff from where ever I happen to be sitting. It's not just a mess. It's organized chaos. Ok? When it's time for me to find them, I know exactly where my gold, platform Steve Madden's are... I don't have to look through a million shoe boxes or dig through the closet. They are right there, in front of the dresser, (maybe) under those pair of black pants. See? It works for me. Most people don't understand it, but it works--it really does. Now as for laundry--don't go thinkin' that I'm walking around in stinky clothes. I'm NOT. I have no problem washing and drying clothes. It's the bit about folding them up and putting them away. There should be a machine for that. I mean, my arms get tired... and I inevitably run out of hangers and drawer space. I know I waste a lot of time in the morning looking for "the blue exercise top" or two matching socks, but eventually I find them... eventually. And that's what matters, right?
Secondly, I hate doing hair. I used to enjoy it. As a matter of fact, for a few summers in high school and during my freshman year in college, that was my side gig. I did hair. And then I had a daughter. Before I saw her face, I saw her hair. Jet black. And LOTS of it. Once I came out of my labor-induced coma, I thought that she and I would have a great time doing hair--the little bows, barrettes, ribbons... I was so excited; I had my own little doll whose hair I could play with as much as I wanted. That was, UNTIL the wavy, curly, cutesy stuff was replaced by "the real deal," which began to grow, and grow, and grow until at 4 months she had more hair than me.* By that time, hair had become a chore. This child's hair is as thick as 3 peoples' and she has the nerve to have eczema in her scalp AND to be tenderheaded. No relaxers allowed! So we've fought through braids of all kinds since she was about a year and a half. And there's ALWAYS the take-out, wash, re-braid process that I LOATHE... it's a two day thing, which used to involve much crying and complaining (on both our parts)... Now that she's older, we're better at the process but I still HATE IT.**
I also hate early mornings. I am a night owl by nature. Does anyone remember when the channels used to "sign off??" You know, when the jets would fly across the screen and those perfect male voices would strike up their rendition of the Star Spangled Banner? In the summertime, that was how I knew it was time for bed. Now that there's cable/satellite (and all the good stuff comes on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim at 11), I hardly ever go to bed on-time. So yeah I could easily stay up until 2 in the morning watching Squidbillies or Robot Chicken*** but then there's that 6 am alarm I have to deal with. It drives me bananas. It startles the crap outta me every morning. I have to set it for 5:40am or so, so that I can mentally count down how much time I have until I absolutely HAFTA get up. I have to hit "snooze" at least three times; I can never just hear the alarm, shut it off, and then jump outta bed. NEVER.
Early-morning waking is a long, arduous process that must be carefully handled. If I get irritated while I'm trying to wake up, it could cause me to be a grouch ALL DAY. So most people know that all they will likely get from me before 10 am are grunts of "good morning" "uh huh" "yeah" and "mm hmm" ... I will never understand my daughter--the complete opposite, who wakes up smiling and talking endlessly. She actually asked me to wake her up with tickles when she was younger. Ha! Not me, not on your life...Tickle me outta my sleep if you wanna. My only suggestion is that you first know how to nurse a black eye...
Fruit. I also dislike fruit. Not because it doesn't taste good...but because it doesn't ALWAYS taste good. I hate when I'd buy a container of gorgeous, red strawberries, a nice, plump watermelon, or a well-thumped canteloupe, only to take that first bite and discover a taste similar to kool-aid without the sugar. Blah, bland, yuck! gross!! I mean, it's a gamble--you can never tell when you're going to bite in to the strawberry-est strawberry or if that bite is going to send you straight to the trash can. I know fruit is good for you. But I never buy it, and now I've gotten so used to not eating it, that I don't think I like it anymore*. Maybe I'll give it another try. But only after someone else has tried it first and knows that it tastes the way it's supposed to.
There are other, more-serious things that I dislike, that over time you'll probably read about: bad service, disloyal people, passive-aggressive people, poor drivers**, all things ghetto, fake church people***, black movies... Shucks, I could start in on any of those right now. Especially my dislike for "modern" black movies (they're all the same) and fake church people (ugh!! -rolling my eyes-), but I'll save that for another day when I'm bored and just a "touch" gripey.
"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria Steinem ~
*No lie!! I'd post the pic, but Loo would KILL me...
**and it STILL takes 2 days
***don't judge me. Every one has their vice. Mine is stupid, mindless cartoonage and movies.
* I just caught myself making an "eeewww gross.." lip scrunch :/
** Imma card carryin road-rager. I inherited it. ahem!
*** Or "Christians" as Ms. G. calls 'um
